39 weeks + 1

I'm officially six days away from my due date. Getting a little impatient. I have been enjoying this time to myself, resting and getting caught up on things... but I'm feeling really ready now. I wish she would come. I want to see her and hold her and know that she is ok. She was up all night last night (and so was I). She was moving around all night. It was painful at times, I think she's running out of room in there. Sometimes she does this strange 'shuddering' move that worries me... but then I worry a lot. Most times for nothing.

I still toy with the idea of getting a scheduled c-section... though at this point we are on 'the VBAC train'. Neither choice is very appealing. There are risks to both. I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow. We'll see if she's still growing well and then decide.

Looking forward to starting this next phase in our lives.

From the mouth of babes...

My 8 year old niece Zoe told my sister today that:

''Matante Mad's baby is probably going to come soon because daddy says when it's hot outside things grow bigger"

Ian Ramblings

(What Ian had on his mind tonight before he fell asleep).

'Mommy, please don't touch my boo-boo ok?.... the kids shouldn't touch my boo-boo either, 'cause then it won't heal right Mommy?... it's not a playstructure. My boo-boo's not a playstructure.... Mommy I have red bum right?.... If Elodie doesn't pooh in the potty she'll have red bum too right? If Elodie has red bum will you put cream on it Mommy (sure Ian).... Why Mommy? Doesn't she have cream at home?.... Why did Elodie's dog get sick Mommy?.... Will my dog get sick too?'

Random Thoughts

I've got a lot on my mind these days. Thinking about my baby and how she's doing. Wondering when she will come and how I will deal with the labor (I remember it being painful, but I also remember being strong within myself and dealing with it... will I be able to stay centered this time with the added worry of a VBAC and the mysterious bleeding and the need to be monitored electronically for the entire labor which will reduce my ability to move around? Will I be able to get the satisfaction of pushing my baby out this time or will I end up with another surgery?). Thinking about Ian and how he will adjust to being a big brother (he's already claimed one breast as his own... even though I stopped breastfeeding him over a year and a half ago). Wondering how I will deal with mothering two little ones (where I will find the energy and patience... and more importantly enthusiasm). How going from three to four will change the dynamic in our family. Looking forward to meeting her finally. Seeing her face. Does she look like her brother or does she look completely different? (I pray she likes to sleep more than her brother did... or does).


A wise woman once told me that parenthood is all about learning to let go... and for women it starts as soon as they become pregnant. I've been practicising letting go these last few weeks. That I have no control about what's going on in my belly or how my labor will go. Trying not to care that our house isn't as clean as I'd like. That there seems to be dishes piled up on the counter 24-7. That I have no energy to cook and play with Ian the way I'd like. That I'm tired of sleeping with two large pillows between my legs and oh how I would kill for a large chilled glass of white wine. I remember when I was pregnant with Ian (12 days overdue)... I was SO tired of being pregnant. I just couldn't wait for it 'all to be over'... and imagine my surprise when I realized after he was born that the pregnant part is the easiest part of motherhood and is definitely only the beginning...

Sunscreen

In case you are looking for a 'healthy' sunscreen: http://www.ewg.org/2010sunscreen/finding-the-best-sunscreens/?ptype=sunscreen

Ian's nighttime ramblings

Every night after our bedtime routine I lie in bed with Ian until he falls asleep. When he moved into the 'big boy bed' he refused to stay in his bed (or even in his room) so this ended up becoming part of our routine. After months of temper tantrums and power struggles he has finally adjusted to the routine. For my part lying there with him for 15 to 30 (sometimes 40) minutes can be somewhat frustrating. This was especially true when I was working. I wanted him to 'fall asleep already' so I could get a few things done (or just do nothing) before going to sleep and starting another day. Since I have been off work though, I have been enjoying this time of day more. It always takes him at least 10-15 minutes just to wind down from his day and stop fidgeting. He'll spend this time wriggling around trying to find a comfy position and chatting about random things. This is really the part I enjoy the most. Listening to what he has to say at the end of his day. Sometimes it is very revealing 'Grayson poo'ed in the park today' or 'When you go to the hospital to get the baby, Mémé will come stay with me, right Mommy?'.  Most days what he has to say makes me laugh.

Yesterday's ramblings:

Ian: 'Mommy can you please rub my belly, pretty please?'
(I start rubbing his belly)
(at this point Ian starts moving his belly up and down)
Ian: 'Mommy there's a baby in my belly... it has the burps'
(pretty sure he meant the hiccups... so funny)
Me: 'Is your baby a boy or a girl?'
Ian: 'girl'.
Me: 'What's her name?'
Ian: 'Shenawa'
(no idea where he got that name from)

Today's ramblings:
'Mommy, I put my finger up there and I don't get any crottes'
(crottes= French for snots).

I've started to see this time of day as a blessing. He's growing up so, so fast... pretty soon he won't need his mommy beside him to fall asleep.

Wonderful Wabbit

Wee Wonderful free pattern for a cute little bunny. If I have the energy this week I might make my own little bunny... so cute! I love how people can take the same pattern and come up with a million different interpretations.