Adios 2009.... HELLO 2010!

The year 2009 has been in many ways a difficult one (at least the last half of it). My father who hasn't been well in the last few years due to complications from a stroke and problems with his circulation, broke his hip. Since then he has been walking with a walker and seems to have aged 20 years in only a few months. Once a vibrant man who was the 'life of the party', now spends his days sitting or sleeping on the couch. My mother has had to become a full time caregiver. It has been difficult to watch them in this transition. I know that they are both struggling each in their own different ways. I wish upon stars that I could make it all better... but part of being a grown-up is learning to accept the things you cannot change, and slowly letting go of the way things used to be.

A few weeks after my father broke his hip, my brother's best friend's parents both died in a car crash coming home from their son's wedding. When I try to imagine the magnitude of that loss. Both of your parents on the same day... it is unimaginable.

On the same day of the accident I started my miscarriage. Another difficult loss.

When we arrived at my parents' house for the holidays this past Sunday their house had just had a major power surge because a hydro line feeding their house broke. The power surge fried all of their electronics (tvs, computer etc). The stress of all that's happened in 2009 seemed to overwhelm a few of my family members... so the holidays this year weren't as joyful or relaxing as previous ones.

Despite all of this though I am grateful. There are many, many things to be grateful for (a loving husband, a gorgeous son, the love of family members, precious friends, I could go on and on).

2010 is a brand new year with loads of possibilities... In 2010 we will hopefully meet a little someone we're expecting on July 26th. As bad as 2009 as sometimes been, it has given us reason to be happy and expectant... since unbelievably I am 10 and a half weeks pregnant.

Happy, happy New Year!!

'Tis the season

The Christmas tree is up. There is several inches of snow on the ground. Most of the Christmas shopping is done and the hubby has finally (FINALLY) finished his work project which has made me a single parent for the last six weeks. It seems that all is coming together for another great holiday. We are looking forward to spending quality time with our families. We're having some friends over in the afternoon on Saturday for an impromptu holiday party... 11 adults, nine kids and one beagle... should be interesting in our small space! But I'm looking forward to it. It's been a long time since we've entertained. It seems like since Ian was born we just haven't had much energy to do so. This should be fun and it is long overdue. Also looking forward to having 10 days off... it will be a much, much needed break. 

We recently transition Ian to a 'big boy bed'. I took the mattress out of his crib and told him it was 'broken'. He didn't seem very bothered by the fact. At first when we moved him to the bed he was staying up until 11:00 p.m. playing in his room. I finally realized we needed to cut out his mid-afternoon nap (at least for now). This seems to have helped. He's now going to bed at a reasonable hour. The problem is he doesn't fall asleep in his bed. I've found him sleeping sitting up at the table in his room, at the foot of our bedroom door, at the foot of the bathroom door (not to mention the few times he's fallen out of bed when he was in fact sleeping in it)... and every night he sneaks into our bed... which I think is very sweet, though the kicks in the face in the middle of the night aren't that cute. Slowly but surely he'll get the hang of it... and once he does we'll start the whole potty training thing. That one should be interesting. Ian is such a joker... I'm sure it won't be without its challenges!

I've been also working on another fun project. I can't tell you about it just yet but I'm excited about it. It's taken up quite a bit of my energy lately but it should all be worth it when it's done. Look forward to sharing the details and some pictures.

Hope your holiday planning is going well.

Owls+Polka Dots=My New Quilt

Here's a sneak peak at my next quilt. All of the quilts I've made so far I've given away as gifts. This one I've decided is for me. I'm loving these Alexander Henry owls! I'm using up some fabric scraps and some of my favourite polka dots and a gorgeous grey solid that my mother donated to the cause. This is my first time making 'log cabin squares'. It's a fun process (if you don't worry about the color combos too much...which I have to admit I have been doing). I've decided to simplify things by making my 'layers' within the squares using the same fabric. There are all kinds of amazing combos you can do. This quilt is my inspiration... though mine won't end up looking anything like that one.

Dummies

It's 9:45 p.m. Ian is still awake. Reading books in his bed. He grabbed a few of my books along with his own tonight without my knowing.... He's at this very moment reading 'Parenting for Dummies'.... I'm pretty sure he's trying to tell me something.

Honestly, you just can't make this stuff up.

The Jessica Quilt

I finally finished Jessica's quilt. It took quite a while because I had a really hard time figuring out what color I should  use to join the 'coin stacks'. I finally ended up choosing pink and I'm very happy with the way it turned out. I especially love how super duper cute my little 8 week old niece looks with it. That picture makes all of those hours SO worth it!

Seeds of Hope (and Fear)

My first pregnancy ended at 6 and a half weeks in grief, sadness and loss. My second pregnancy ended in joy, love, gratitude and never ending laughter (and let's not forget the fatigue!). My third pregnancy ended at 8 weeks just this past August in grief, sadness, loss, disbelief and resignation. My recent miscarriage was a blighted ovum (the sac grew but the baby never did). The irony is that the same day the miscarriage started, my mother and I took Ian to the beach. As we sat there watching him play in the sand, I told her how comforting it was that my hcg levels were exactly where they should be... several hours later the red streak of doom announced itself. A few people asked if the fact that there was 'no baby' was... 'comforting'. How do you explain that though there was no baby in my womb, there was in fact a very real baby growing in my heart? Baby Center tells me I would be 20 weeks this week (I can't turn off the damn weekly updates). But I'm not. I'm. Not.

We are still hopeful. It is a mixture of hope and fear. Sometimes there is more fear than hope, other times more hope than fear. Other times, there is nothing. No feeling. Just. nothing.

I'm just not sure how many more babies I can grow in my heart and never get to hold in my arms.

Weekending

Glorious Day

Today I had a glorious day. I had the day off and Ian went to daycare which left me with a whole 8 hours to myself. I cleaned, did laundry, made good progress on my niece's quilt, fixed the buttons on several of my winter coats, had a bath, did some work for my meeting tomorrow.... what a glorious day! It was so nice to do some sewing without feeling rushed or feeling guilty that I should probably be doing something else.

In general I have this sense of being rushed all of the time... like there just isn't enough time in the day to get things done. I noticed this feeling got worst after Ian was born. Almost like an internal 'alarm' was switched on and never turned off. It probably has a lot to do with the anxiety disorder but I'm getting better at managing it. I have good days and bad days (today was a great day!). I just need to keep reminding myself (as someone once told me) life isn't a 100 metre dash, it's a marathon that you take one day at a time...

ABCs

Great idea! I'm definitely going to make some of these.

http://ohsohappytogether.blogspot.com/2009/07/rag-quilt-letters-tutorial.html

Doll Quilt

I've been using up some fabric scraps and working on a few doll quilts. Finally finished my first one. I LOVE this quilt. I love it so much... I think I have to keep it! Maybe someday we'll have a little girl who will play with it...  That would be a wonderful blessing.

Flu Season

My baby is sick (he's still 'my baby' even though he's officially a 'toddler'). He's had the flu since Saturday afternoon. He's never had a fever this high and for this long before. In these days of H1N1 panic, the flu is a scary thing. I brought him to the Dr's today. She said he obviously does have the flu... but not H1N1... because he isn't sick enough. I was debating back and forth about whether we should have Ian vaccinated... but I think my mind is made up. I wouldn't want to see him much sicker than I saw him in these last few days... now to find the time to wait 6+hours to get the vaccine.... and we have to wait until he's officially 100% better as well.

I feel so very grateful that:

1. Ian doesn't have H1N1 and seems to be feeling a little better
2. We have such a kind doctor who takes emergency appointments with very short notice
3. We have a health care system that provides free care and free vaccines
4. Dr. White has tractor stickers which makes the whole Dr. experience a little less painful

Memories

Ian making memories with his cousins at Méme and Pépé's house on Thanksgiving weekend.

Cute top!

This will likely be one of my next projects (again for my niece Zoë).

http://candacetodd.blogspot.com/2009/08/ruffle-sleeve-top-tutorial.html

What a super cute top! What`s great is you could make it into a dress and change it up in a lot of different ways.

New fabrics

I just purchased a half yard of each of these fabrics. They are from the Michael Miller 'Tad dot' series. I love polka dots!

Hazel's Quilt

Here are the beginnings of 'The Hazel quilt'. I love these colors and fabrics! It is a labour of love. Kaia's very first quilt for her 8 month old daughter Hazel. I'm coaching her along, but she's doing all the work herself. It's quite fun to get together every now and then and work on a common project. Finally someone to share my new obsession passion with.

Mad(e) with love for Zoë

This weekend I went to the textiles place near my house. I was looking for fabric to finish my 'coin stack quilt' (see pics in another post below). My trip was a bit of a bust. I couldn't find anything that works. Not sure what color I should use to join the coin stacks. I was thinking pink since it's for a little girl but I can't find a pink that works. I might end up using a cream instead. I just couldn't decide so I didn't get anything. It looks like this project is on hold until I figure out what I'm going to do....

I did end up buying this fabric which I quite like. It was on sale and there is something about it that really speaks to me. It reminds me of a few dresses my mom made for my sister and I when we were younger. I love the saturation of the pinkish reds and blues. It has an 'old school - eighties-ish' feel to it. I'm going to make my 8 year old niece Zoë a blouse using the Oliver and S 'sailboat top' pattern. I'm really excited about it... just waiting for the pattern to come in the mail!

Fall 2009

Oliver and S - Lazy Days Skirt

Free Pattern here: http://www.oliverands.com/downloads/Oliver+SLazyDaysSkirt.pdf

Oliver and S - TeaParty Sundress

Oliver and S: Patterns can be found here: http://oliverands.com/patterns/

Someone get this woman a little girl!

Sneak peak of coin quilt

New project

I've got a new quilting project on the go that I'm excited about. I'm making a quilt for my new niece Jessica. I'm using the opportunity to do some 'scrapbusting' and using left over materials that I used to make the 'little J' quilt and the blue and pink quilt I made. I wasn't sure if the colors would work together at first but so far it looks great. I'm also using a different pattern this time around trying out a 'coin stack' pattern. Will post some sneak preview pictures soon.

I've also been working on a second project helping my friend Kaia make a quilt for her daughter. She comes over when she can and I'm showing her (in my non-expert experience) step by step how to make a quilt. We get to catch up while doing it so it's lots of fun!

You know how when we were kids we'd do all kinds of creative things? Crafts, drawings, painting etc? It seems as we grow older some of us lose that part of ourselves. Rediscovering my creative side through sewing has been lots of fun and it is the perfect outlet I need after a long day at work.

Kids say the darndest things

Recently heard at the Bou-Lunn house:

Mommy: 'Who loves Mommy?'

Ian: 'Me'.

Daddy: 'Who loves Daddy?'

Ian: 'Not me'.

(poor, poor Daddy).

Cool

These are the coolest wedding pics I've ever seen. Wow!

http://thenicholsblog.com/2009/08/09/amy-greg/

Vacationing 2009

The 'Little J' Quilt

Here is the quilt I made for my friend's baby. Derek says it will blind the poor thing. I like it. The colors are modern and bright!

Curling up with a good book

There is nothing better than curling up with a really good book. Something that wraps you up and takes you away into another world. A story that keeps you up late at night because even though your eyes are tired and you know you should turn off the light and go to bed... you-can't-stop-turning-the-pages. Recently a friend lent me the book 'The book of Negroes' by Lawrence Hill. This is exactly the book I had been craving. Something to whisk me away to another world. I've started keeping a list of 'must read books' that I will share with my kids someday. A list of books I hope they'll read when they are older. This one is going on the list.

Sometimes when real life is shit, reading a good book helps (thanks Tamawa).

Creative Sewing

I am loving my new hobby. Mostly I spend my time surfing on etsy.com looking for beautiful fabrics and imaging the beautiful things I can make.

My next project might be this quilt which I absolutely adore:
http://www.ohfransson.com/oh_fransson/2009/06/how-to-make-scrappy-hedgerow-blocks.html

Quilting is relaxing and it feels so good to make something from nothing. It is creative and fun. The idea of giving handmade gifts feels good too.

The Elodie Quilt

Here is a quilt I made for a little girl I know's b-day. It was so much fun to make!

The print fabrics are from the Heather Ross 'Mendocino' line. the blue squares are from fabric I already had on hand.

Sewing

I've been taking a basic sewing class at a local shop near our home. Loving it! It is so much fun to learn a new skill. We made a tot bag in the class which turned out pretty nice. My next project will be a quilt for a special friend's baby.

I bought the material here: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5757671&section_id=5637909

Etsy is my new favourite website. So many beautiful handmade things. My new favourite shop is here: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5064563

and of course the fabric shop up above... so many projects in my head, so little time and energy!

Ian's going to be two!

It's been.... a LONG while. Time flies when you are busy, busy, busy (so friggin' busy). I can't believe Ian is going to two in a few short weeks. Every day that goes by it seems he loses his 'babyness'. Learning new words, counting, singing songs, correctly distinguishing between a pooh and a fart (those are the moments it makes the craziness all worth while). I don't suppose anyone reads this thing anymore (hi Tamara) but I just wanted to say 'hey' and we're all doing well... except for the business and craziness, but you know, it's all good!

Happy Birthday Coco-bear!